Observations from the mall

Today I was doing a volunteer shift at the mall. Call me crazy. I made several observations. 1) Just because you can get into red spandex pants doesn't mean you should get into spandex pants no matter what the color or the season. 2) If you dress goth and go in and out of the mall several times in an hour, you are quite likely to get searched by no less than 3 police men. 3)Midland must be an especially boring place to live as there is an especially large number of pregnant females. 4) There are magic pants that absolutley defy gravity and make the male population walk REAL strange. 5) There are some really cute kids. 6) There are some not so cute adults. 7) If you have a 1 year old on your hip and your 2 year old is pitching a hissy fit while you try to drag her and your packages out of the mall, GET OFF THE CELL PHONE and take a class on birth control! 8) Over Thanksgiving weekend, Midlanders consumed 95 buckets of mints. 290 mints per bucket. You do the math. 9) Smiles are free and hugs are especially special when coming from friends you haven't seen in a while.